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Bitch of the Day

Grown ass women who refer to perfume, candles, etc as “smellies.” You’re not 3, and it’s not cute. It’s annoying as all fucking hell, as a matter of fact.

Bonus bitch: my phone still trying to auto correct all my profanity. Get with the program phone, I swear like a sailor!

Mother of the Year

So my mother wasn’t talking to me for a week or so, because she doesn’t approve of my life choices. I asked to borrow $10 for gas the day before I paid and got a lecture about budgeting and how I make such good money. I didn’t take the money, needless to say. Also, she found out I’m seeing someone and she’s pissed, because no one will be as good as my ex. She likes him more than she does me, I swear. She’s kind of a judgemental bleep.

So today I was forced to spend an hour at her house waiting for my kids to get back from an adventure with Grandpa, and discovered that I’m no longer on the shit list because my step-brother and step-sister fucked up. Again. Actually, I’m probably still on the shit list, I will always be, just for being me. My brother is the golden child. He calls her on her shit and doesn’t take her crap, but it doesn’t matter. I’m her fuck up, I guess, but I digress.

So step-sister is getting evicted from her apartment for non payment of rent. This is the third time in 3, maybe 4, years. She dates losers who can’t keep jobs and steal money from their employers, and then when the loser does get a job, she quits hers. Dumb,dumb, dumb. Oh, and she has 3 kids, at the age of 23. Got an early start. At least they all have the same father. She’s pissed because she has a dog and my stepfather said she can move into the basement with her kids, but no dog. He doesn’t like dogs and refuses to have them at the house. My mom was being a drama queen and freaking out because she said the dog is her family and she loves it as much as she loves her kids. I think that’s stupid, too, but, my mother has to go over the top about things. You would have thought she said she loved the dog MORE than her kids. The boyfriend is allowed to move in either. My parents hate him, but my mom is saying the reason is because boyfriends and girlfriends aren’t allowed to spend the night. Ummm… really Mom, jeez? It’s not a religious or moral thing, it’s just a fucked up control thing. Like I get that they don’t like him, but just say so. No one else likes him either. She was all going on about how my brother’s ex, who was and still is, like a daughter to her was never allowed to stay there and my high school boyfriend never spent the night. No shit, we were 17. She’s 23. When she was married they wouldn’t let her move in with her husband, because “this isn’t a motel.” She could have moved in, just not with the husband. He was a douche, too, but seriously just say that. My parents have nothing against co-habitation, they lived together for 5 years before they got married.

So, then it came out that my step brother doesn’t have power where he’s living, so he showers and does laundry at their house. Actually, my Gram does his laundry, and she has apparently found at least 3 baggies in there, and one had weed in it. Seriously, dude, if you’re going to do laundry at your parents house, take the drugs out of your pants first. Especially with our parents, sheesh. I commented that at least it was just pot and almost got another lecture.

Of the three of us, I guess I fuck up the least. In reality, I don’t fuck up at all, not like that, anyway. I drive too fast and I spend too much money, and I finally pulled the plug on unhappy marriage. Those are my sins. Some days she can live with that and some days you’d think I killed someone. On the days when there are baggies of weed in the wash and someone is being a worse mother than mine, she can live with it. There are four of us, but only one of us isn’t a fuck up, at least not according to Book of Mom.

Hell On Wheels

I adore this show, so, so much. AMC is just killing it with all their shows. Turns out Ruth is a feminist. I loved that scene where she was trying to point out to Naomi how badly Mormons treated women. Up to this point I hadn’t realized what a modern woman she is. Granted she’s a female pastor in the 1860’s, which was relatively rare, but I always viewed that as her being so devoted to God that she refused to leave a town that is clearly in need of church and pastor without one in the wake of her father’s death. Although, there was her sexual relationship with Joseph. Still, this scene made me see another side of Ruth.

I also love how this show can make you hate Durant with a passion, case in point, last season, and then have you rooting for him and feeling sorry for him. That scene at the end with Eva? Oh my gosh, I had tears in my eyes. He may be a schemer and a conniver, and a complete douche bag most of the time, but he has a soft spot for women and children and it gets me every time. When he was talking about Lily my heart was breaking. You know he wasn’t the only one thinking about her this episode, either. When Bohannon had that fight with his wife and he was outside their tent with his eyes raised to the sky, I don’t think it was God he was looking to.

Actually, White Coffee was a choice in this chose your own adventure - ish game I play on my Kindle, but I thought it was just a trendy new drink with a shit ton of milk and sugar in it. I saw that today, and then when I was in the store I realized it was actually a thing. The main motivator, however, was that it was on sale for $6 and I had $9 to spend and another $3 item to purchase. It must have been destiny. Seriously, this is like change your life coffee, it’s that good. I actually had a dream the other night that someone brought a cup of coffee from some new coffee place and it was the best I had ever had. Tonight I took one sip and realized that this coffee is THAT coffee. Don’t ask me how I know what dream coffee tastes like, but it is. Must be magic.

Has anyone heard of White Coffee? I bought it tonight because it was on sale at the grocery store, I’d never seen it before, and holy fuck! This shit is fucking magic! Best cup of coffee ever. EVER. EVER!

I finally, FINALLY, have my car back and I’m so happy. It only took 3 seconds for me to start missing the working AC, though. I have got to get my brother to fix that. Screw shocks and decent tires. I need AC.

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